Don’t you know that feeling with you feel like cutting or purging and you are trying to not do it, but you lay down and try to hide your feelings? It feels like everything is numb and you are laying down with pressure along every inch of your body and every breath you take isn’t even a breath? It’s more like a second that you don’t want to die so you hold your breath in, but you breath because you remember it’ll just knock you out, and not kill you?
I am worthless. I know I am, and don’t try to tell me different. Everyone thinks it. My dad thinks it, he strongly shows it. My brother thinks it, he doesn’t care what I have to say about anything. My mom thinks it, she has no time emotional invested in my life. Shit, I think it. I have only one reason I’m here and that’s because I’m blessed with one person that loves every inch of me from head to toe and he is what’s keeping me alive. I love him so much and he is the reason I am here today.
This post is just a vent to prevent me from doing worse things. Sorry.